Love and companionship

Over the past couple of months, I have found myself in conversations with friends who are feeling lonely; I have listened intently to their confessions of wanting companionship, and have tried to keep them from becoming discouraged. I use the word "confessions" because people are usually reluctant to admit that they are lonely; they don't want to come across as pathetic, or like they are feeling sorry for themselves in their singledom. However, I don't see it as pathetic, and I think it is perfectly normal and expected for people to feel lonely when they are not involved in a romantic/intimate relationship after an extended period of time.
On the other hand, there are those who seem to feel like they need to be in a relationship all the time because their self-worth depends on someone else's opinions. That, I do not agree with. While it is perfectly normal to crave companionship and intimacy, being single should not make a person feel like there is a flagrant flaw in his/her personality, because oftentimes, that is not the case!!
My previously mentioned lonely friends are perfect examples of this. They are wonderful people with great personalities. They are thoughtful, outgoing, sincere, and beautiful...but they are single. What gives? If I had the answer, I'm sure I would have single people flocking to me, looking for me to change their love lives. Sadly, however, I do not hold any mystical insight, and all I can really continue to do for these people is to give them encouragement.
I am no stranger to singledom. In fact, prior to my current relationship, I was pretty much single for close to three years. There were times when I wondered what was wrong with me, as I would look around my group of friends and see that I was the eleventh wheel. "I know I'm not the most attractive person in the world, but surely something about my personality makes up for it??? Right? Riiiight??" Admittedly, there were times when I got down on myself and felt like I was doomed to spend a lot of my young adult years "alone". However, I thankfully realized that it was pretty useless to get down on myself, as it only made me feel more miserable and didn't change the fact that I wasn't in a relationship. I'm not sure what brought about this realization - I think it was a gradual thing - but I eventually found satisfaction with my independence. I figured that the baggage that sometimes comes with relationships could wait, and that enjoying life with my friends and family brought plenty of happiness my way.
That was kind of the advice I gave to the friends that I have talked to in the past months: if you're happy with other aspects of your life (ie. work, friends, family, money), be thankful for that instead of getting down about the one aspect that isn't perfect about your life. I know it's easier said than done (like with most things), and again, I know it's very natural to yearn for companionship and intimacy, but learning to be happy on your own should be equally as high on your priority list.
Otherwise, discontent with being single can lead to desperation and lowered standards. If you go *looking* for someone, you may just end up "settling" for something/someone you know won't keep you happy, and for me, this option has always seemed much more demoralizing than not being with anyone at all.
Anyway, I guess all this is easier for me to say, now that I am happily invested in an amazing relationship. However, as I mentioned before, it was not always this way. I am very happy that I was able to find self-content in my independence first, and that I didn't allow myself to 'settle' for anything that didn't feel completely right and natural. I just hope that my friends who find themselves lonely from time to time will be able to find happiness within themselves first before looking to share it with someone else!

Ear candy: *If You Don't, Don't* --Jimmy Eat World